|
[pt. information/articles/articles-sidebar.htm] |
|
The grief of parents whose child
has a serious or chronic illness is often hidden. In the busyness of
caring for all the medical and emotional needs of a sick child,
parents can often put their feelings on hold. Because few people,
including family, friends, and professionals, take the time to
inquire about those feelings, parents can begin to believe that
their emotional responses are abnormal and that no one feels as they
do.
However, it is very common for
intense feelings of grief to be triggered for parents, not only at
the time of diagnosis, but also over and over during the illness.
This can happen at medical crises, at times of missed opportunities
for their child, and even at simple occurrences such as seeing
another child who is healthy.
Parental grief is not simply
feelings of sadness and pain. It includes times of shock, confusion,
numbness, memory loss, anger, fear, anxiety, and
guilt. These and many other feelings are normal responses to
dealing with an abnormal situation that has so many unknown factors.
Because all parents seem to have a basic belief that a “good parent”
should protect a child from illness and suffering, many parents
blame themselves when their child gets sick. It is hard work to
unlearn and ignore this kind of myth.
Family members also express their
grief in many different ways. Often this can be a source of
friction, especially if, for example, one parent needs to talk,
while another needs to withdraw. It helps if each parent can
recognize his or her style of dealing with grief, and can give one
another the freedom to be different. Having other people to share
with often helps parents to do this more easily.
Other methods for parents to deal
with grief include: becoming as informed as possible about the
illness and ways to live with it, being a part of the treatment
team, joining a support group of other parents of chronically ill
children, and learning to reach out for help to others in the
community.—Reprinted from the
"HOME CARE FAMILY NEWSLETTER", Children's Hospital of
Philadelphia, PA
From Archived
ARPKD/CHF Newsletter
|
